Change
by KiriWells
Summary: He's been distant for a long time, I've been watching him. No I'm not a stalker just an old friend who wants to be something more.


**So this came to me last night... and I thought why not. **

**Please review and tell me what you think  
**

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**Change  
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Some how everything changed from the way it was when we were little kids. All the playful jokes and hugs, the rolling on the ground trying to be on top. All of that changed meaning now that we're older. I knew that it would change eventually, I mean I had my older brother who had changed from not liking girls to wanting to be with one every minute he was awake. When I asked him he always said, 'Your going to be changing in here.' and would stab me with his finger in the chest where my heart was. I would just giggle and he would shake his head walking away from me to go be with his current girlfriend.

Some how I'm sad that things changed. I mean I see him less and less now that we went our separate ways. I see him once or twice a week if he's running late, cause he's rushing through the hallways trying not to be late like the good kid he is. All the while no one pays him any mind. They all know him and know his school work comes before anything else and everyone respects that. Especially me. So here I am. Leaning against a locker, purposely being late to my next class just to see him rushing past him, not even noticing my existence. I simply sigh sadly walking off in the opposite direction, desperately wanting to break the routine cycle that I went through.

"Dude what's up?" a perfect haired man asked as I trudged into the classroom that I desperately didn't want to be in.

"Nothing..." I answered taking my seat in the back of the room, looking out the window watching nothing in particular.

"Is it him? Hm? Hm? Hm?" I was pestered by a tan boy who poked me on the side of the head.

The only thing I answered him with was another deep sigh and putting my head on my desk.

The tan boy, Carlos, and the perfect haired man, James, just looked at each other before looking back down at me. Even though I was looking outside I knew they were doing it because we were best friends. Of course we were one best friend short but every knows him. That boy rushing down the hall like he was being chased by a swarm of bees. Logan. Sigh. The quartet had been complete all the way up until high school. Once they left their middle school everything changed for the 'better'.

Logan is a very intellectual man. He would always be in the top of the class without even trying. He had a heart of gold though compared to the other heartless people on top. He would be sitting in the same classes as James, Carlos, and I even though we knew that he could do better. Every time we told him to change classes he would just laugh and say, 'I like it better this way.' We just laugh and attack him. My arm would swing around his neck pulling him in Carlos would join in giving Logan a noogie with James just supervising but laughing. Logan would just flash his best smile and laugh along. In the beginning we had a least one class together, choir, because he didn't want to get hurt and lose braincells or something, but that was back when we were freshman. Two, almost three, years ago.

James was James. There was nothing that changed about him, looking back I think he had gone through all his changes before preschool because he had the same personality and everything. He still worried about his hair, took care of himself, but still managed to have fun while keeping his hair perfect. James had stuck through everything with them as well. He currently did everything that Carlos and I did just so he wouldn't lose us, thankfully we met somewhere in the middle and took the only class he wanted to take no matter what. Choir.

Then there was Carlos. Poor Carlos, cursed with hyper tendencies, love sickness, and a huuuuuge heart. He had no other choice then to follow the classwork like James and mine cause he wasn't exactly the smartest kid out there. Don't get me wrong though. He was really smart just not book smart. I don't think I would ask anyone else if my outfit looked trashy or if that alley down the block was safe to go down in the middle of the night. He was completely honest, pure, innocent, and a very playful kid. His personal favorite thing ever to do was hockey. It kept his high energy in check and managed to tire the Latino out some how, something I was thankful for personally.

Then there was me. I had been complemented as being a ladies man, super nice, a hard worker, and a great athlete and scholar that should really try harder. I would agree with the last two. The first one. HA! I expect that from James who had women throwing themselves at him even though he was still in high school. I am gay, that much I am sure about myself. Carlos and James know it, Logan doesn't. In fact I came out once we had our quartet separated into a trio with a lost member. It was when Logan was gone that I realized that I love him and wanted him only to myself. I was scared at first because I didn't know how James and Carlos would take it but thankfully they were completely understanding and helpful. They tried getting me to forget about 'him' but setting me up with other guys that didn't go to our school so I wouldn't get teased, but it never worked.

Here I am though in boring old English 3, ignoring the boring lecture of how America Romanticism helped forge the 'gothic' writing style that everyone is so fond of now, wishing and dreaming that Logan would come back to us so we can hang out at least once a week. That's all a guy needs right? One day where we weren't busy with hockey practice, singing, or school work. But sadly we don't have one of those days. Our Saturday's are filled with hockey. Sundays, homework. Monday's choir practice. Tuesday, show choir. Wednesday religious outings or hockey. Thursday homework or hockey. Friday would be filled with hockey practice for the next day or we would be leaving that day to a far away game.

Plus I didn't even know Logan's schedule at all. He's probably already a sophomore in college with all the advanced classes he's taken and aced none the less, leaving me and the other two far behind in his shadow. But I was glad for him. I really was. I mean if anyone was guaranteed success it was Logan. Not that James and Carlos were absolute failures, but Logan would get farthest, probably a doctorate degree in like medical supremacy or something equally as amazing.

DING DONG!

"Hey let's go Kenny..." Carlos tugged on my arm gently, respecting my current mood.

"It's your favorite, lunch time!" James chanted trying to me happy.

I slowly got up and packed my stuff into my backpack before throwing it over my back. As we walked down the halls James and Carlos chattered on about nonsense, occasionally asking my opinion in something, in which case I would answer with a simple yes. We arrived at our lockers which out of some stroke of fate were right by each other. 112, 113, and 114. We threw our stuff into the lockers and shut them at the same time, walking down to the cafeteria waiting in line for our turn to get food. When he finally got it and walked to our table, and yes it was ours, we had sat there since freshman year, to see someone sitting down.

"Um sorry this is our seat dude..." Carlos said putting his tray down beside the stranger, "your sitting in James spot."

Then Carlos looked at him and gasped but couldn't find the words to say. At first I didn't care I mean he would move eventually so who cares but when I put my stuff in my seat, directly in front of Carlos and looked at James who was simply waiting for the boy to move then down at the boy I gasped too.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked with a totally surprised look on my face.

"Well whoever, and whatever I really wish you would get out of my seat kid." James muttered slightly irritated.

"Of course of course," the boy had answered pushing his tray across the table right beside Kendall's, standing up looking at the floor.

"That's Logan's se-" James stopped when he took a look at the boy for the first time.

"LOGAN!" he yelled causing everyone to turn around.

Logan just laughed and smiled, like nothing had changed these past couple of years. I melted at the sound of him, the closeness of him when he sat down, and the look in his eyes. Carlos bombarded him with questions all of which Logan answered as best as he could. James on the other hand had changed moods, even though he was still smiling. I made eye contact with him and knew what he wanted to say. I only offered the best smile I could muster. 'I'll be fine'.

"Soooo~" Carlos sang, "are you going to eat with us more often~?"

"I'm afraid not... My schedule was open for once and mom wanted me to hang out with you guys." He smiled.

My heart broke. It broke into a million pieces. I was thinking that he was here because he wanted to, that he missed us and wanted to get things back to the way it was before even if it was for a little while. I stood up quietly avoiding the looks I was getting from the three.

"Where are you going"

"I'm not hungry..." I answered the question before pushing my food to Carlos who gladly accepted it.

I wandered away, to no where specifically, crying. That had hurt him even though Logan didn't know what he had said that was wrong which was fine. He had other things to be worrying about than his heartbroken 'friend'. That only made me cry harder which caused me to run not wanting anyone to see me. I found myself in the choir room alone. It was weird because the door was unlocked without a teacher but I quickly pushed it out of my mind since I wanted to be alone anyways. I sat in the silence of the room with occasional sobs and hiccups. I would wipe tears to make way for new ones.

"Hello...?"

My solitude was broken and I looked up to see who had invaded my privacy only to see that it was Logan.

'Crap...' I thought, 'why him!'

"Kendall... what's a matter...?" Logan frowned taking long strides to get by my side.

"Nothing... just leave me alone." I answered averting my eyes from Logan.

I heard Logan stop and felt him watch me. I was stubborn though and didn't move. Unfortunately Logan was somewhat stubborn as well and continued towards me stopping when he was above me. I heard the bench squeak at the new weight and heard him sigh.

"I'm sorry about not being around you guys anymore..." Logan explained, "It's just... I knew that I had to start taking my school work seriously since I could get into any school if I had amazing grades..."

Silence.

"I know that I should have made time for you guys but things just started piling up... That's why I quit choir our sophomore year... I started doing things that would look good on my resume's and college applications..."

More Silence.

"But I never stopped thinking about you guys even though I was all alone. I never wanted new friends and I was always wondering what you and the others were up to and whether or not I was being missed at all, like I was missing you guys."

"Of course you were Logan! You were the last part of our lives and when you left we all missed you." Kendall cried turning to face Logan now, "especially me Logan... I was hurt the worst."

Logan's face dropped even more as listened to what Kendall had to say.

"I wish you were still around. I'm not saying we didn't have fun or what not but you were always part of our fun. Then you always helped up through everything. When we were barely scraping by trying to pass the stupid classes like geometry we wished that you were around to help us but you weren't there..."

"I'm sorry... Kendall..." Logan apologized placing a hand on my shoulder.

I quickly dragged him into a hug and held him close to me. Logan awkwardly placed his arms around me eventually melting into the embrace as well. That's when I took my chance. Now that he was here, close and alone so there was no interruptions.

"I love you Logan..." I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

Logan tensed up before speaking, "w-what..."

"I love you Logan... I've loved you for a long time now... If you wouldn't have left I wouldn't have ever realized it either." I explained to Logan who slowly found comfort in my arms again.

"I'm sorry Kend-"

"No. Don't say that please... I already know. Your to busy to date anyone... I just wanted you to know how I felt." I choked out feeling the oxygen stuck in my throat once more.

I let go of Logan and unwrapped myself from his arms and stepped backwards towards the door not once letting my eyes leave him. It hurt to watch the expression on his face. Confused, hurt, and sad. I didn't mean to hurt him, but he need ted to know how I felt about him. When I got to the door I turned around with my hand on the handle.

"Good bye Logan... Good luck in the future." I said.

I opened the door and walked through and outside heading towards my next class.

I felt something on my shoulder and I was flipped. I felt lips on mine and my eyes opened seeing Logan there kissing me. I moaned and leaned into the kiss wanting to take it further. Then Logan pulled away.

"I guess I kinda like you too." he announced with a blush.

"So does that mean... we... ya know?" Kendall replied still confused.

"No... Like you said I don't have time right now... but I there's always going to be vacation and who knows maybe we'll go to the same college or something, " Logan explained winking at Kendall.

DING DONG!

"Damn bell..." I muttered getting kissed once more before watching Logan leave.


End file.
